


Smile Like You Mean It

by Drippin_w_alchemy



Series: Either/Or [3]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Cabin, Canon Compliant, College, F/M, M/M, Panic at the Disco - Freeform, Pining, Summer, The Killers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 02:17:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14178369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drippin_w_alchemy/pseuds/Drippin_w_alchemy
Summary: Simon, Bram and friends head up to Bram's cabin for the weekend. Simon feels self conscious about his new swim suit and the rest of the crew settles in to their new digs for the weekend.The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It:YouTube





	Smile Like You Mean It

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of 3 of the Spierfeld Cabin excursion! Thanks again to my beta AMH who keeps pushing me to get this out there!

“Look I’m not saying he’s not attractive,” Bram lets on, “I just think that Brendon Urie is so over the top with his moodiness! Like there’s no nuance to it, you know?”

“No I don’t know Bram! Brendon Urie sings what he’s feeling, _unedited_ , and it’s refreshing to hear someone sing what we’re all thinking” Leah retorts. “You’ve just been conditioned to subvert your emotions, it’s _toxic_. I can’t believe you prefer Brandon Flowers!”

“All I’m saying is The Killers lyrics are veiled, they leave a space for you, to add whatever you need to hear when you’re listening, that takes skill!” Bram responds. “Plus Brandon Flowers has this mysterious vagabond look to him, what’s not to swoon over!” He says laughing a little.

Bram always gets kind of nervous when Leah makes him talk about boys, but _Smile Like You Mean It_ just came on the playlist I made and it’s launched them into the age old Brendon vs. Brandon debate.

“Leah? Leah? LEAH!” Abby finally shouts over the music.

“Jesus what!” Leah responds gripping the wheel with all her upper body strength, eyes suddenly wide.

“Where are we?” Abby asks, suddenly 20 decibels softer.

“We’re almost there,” Bram says turning around from the front seat. “There’s a grove of pine trees up here we drive past and then we catch our turn and it’s just up the dirt road.”

Bram and Leah are sitting in the front while Nick, Abby & I are in the back of Leah’s Mom’s van. Nick and I are discussing the new Harry Potter spin off movie and Abby just seems to of regained consciousness after entering a coma from the Waffle House we hit up before hitting the road this morning.

“So it’s a movie, based off a book, that was written, within another book?” Nick reasons out with great care, he knows better than to ask me twice about something related to Harry Potter at this point in our friendship.

“Yes, precisely” I respond. “A totally normal thing to make a movie about” I say stone faced.

“But isn’t the book it’s based off of, like an encyclopedia?” Nick asks sheepishly.

“Yes I still don’t see why you’re so skeptical” I reply with a mocking leer and Nick laughs and looks out the window at the woods whizzing past the car.

“It’s this turn right here Leah.” Bram points and we’re pulling off the dirt road into a wooded driveway up to a little stone and log cabin.

“We’re heeeeereeeeee” Leah chimes pulling the car around.

Abby’s out of the car before we’ve even fully come to a stop. “Sorry I just really have to pee!” She yells back.

“She might have to hold it,” Bram says unbuckling his seatbelt. “I’ve gotta fish the key out from my Dad’s super secret hiding place.”

What I love about Bram’s Dad’s cabin is that’s exactly what it is, _a cabin_. All these ridiculous kids at Creekwood have these places at the lake that are bigger than all our houses, it’s nuts. Bram’s Dad bought this totally understated cabin up in the north woods a few years before his parents got divorced. Apparently it was during a big Thoreau period of his life and he thought it would be this big gesture that would bring artistic integrity to his work, Bram’s Mom was less enthused. Bram never has really talked to me about why his parents got divorced, a lot of what he’s alluded to seems to revolve around their lack of communication. I wish I could just tell him how I’m feeling, how scared I am of him leaving, of the distance between us creeping up in a few months. I’m putting it out of my mind this weekend though, I’m determined to be here with my friends, with Bram.

Bram fishes the keys out from underneath his Dad’s woodshed and fumbles with the door before getting it open. A gush of air rushes in like the place is a freaking tomb, I guess no one’s really been up here since last summer though. Bram’s Dad took us up here last  year and it was totally great but undeniably weird. For starters his Mom insisted we have very specific sleeping arrangements which ended with Bram, his Dad and myself all sleeping in different bunk beds in the same room. We ended up texting each other all night in the same room so as not to wake his Dad (I still have some of those screenshots saved on my phone). It didn’t help that his Dad insisted on reading to us from this book of poems on World War I before we went to bed every night. Bram was mortified and apologized to me for days. I took advantage of the embarrassment Oreo Mcflurries I got out of it, but secretly, I loved every minute we spent with his Dad that weekend, he made me feel like I had a special place carved out up here just for me.

“Abby top bunk!” Nick shouts and runs into the bunk room. Abby’s behind him and tosses her stuff at Nick smacking him in the back as she runs around the corner to find the bathroom.

“Sorry babe, I love you but I have NEEDS!” She yells from down the hall and the bathroom door slams.

“Where’s the master Bram?” Leah asks staring straight at the both of us stone faced.

Bram motions to this big wooden door and says “Right in there,” under his breath.

Leah narrows her eyes and looks back and forth between us, waiting for the slightest bit of protest, before going into the bedroom. “Wow it’s a QUEEN!” She squeals, and shuts the door.

When we were planning this weekend it was just assumed that Bram and I would take the master bedroom when Abby made a joke that Leah should have it for all the stuff she’s had to put up with us as couples over the years. We all laughed until Leah noted she had a point (and on top of the fact that we were using _her_ Mom’s car to get there), we were backed into a corner. Bram’s such a good sport though, even though the total lack of privacy we’ll have on the pull out is akin to his personal version of hell.

Nick bursts out of the bedroom in a tank top and board shorts. “OK it’s 90 million degrees let’s get in the lake!”

“YAAAS!” Abby screams as she comes running around the corner of the hallway, “I’ll get changed!”

Leah opens the door to her room and dramatically throws her head back. She’s wearing a black swimsuit with a full length I kid you not, _black shawl_ and a giant black sun hat. She pulls out a tube of lipstick and smacks her lips red before adjusting her sunglasses.

“What?” she says without a hint of irony. “This stuff has sunscreen in it, I’m just being responsible.”

“Leah you’re really leaning into this whole witch fad huh?” Nick says and oh man he is so not prepared for what’s coming.

“Nick I had this hat _before_ _Coven_ was even popular, let alone when it hit the cis het blogs.” She fires back. “Plus black isn’t witchy, it’s just _black_ , it’s a pillar of fashion and we’re living our summer dreams this weekend _I’m gonna wear what I want_.” and with that she’s off, grabbing a drink from the cooler and heading down to the lakeshore.

Abby comes out from the bunkroom in her swimsuit, portable speaker in tow.

“OK so, 90’s R&B or contemporary pop?” She asks, scrolling through her Spotify.

“90’s R&B!” Bram replies, disappearing around the corner to change in the bathroom. “But make sure you throw in some mid 2000’s pop for Nick, you know it’s not a party ‘til he’s belting _Breakaway_.”

“That happened once Greenfeld!” Nick snaps back.

“Three times in the last year Nick!” Bram yells from the bathroom, “Three!”

Bram’s back wearing these navy blue swim trunks and a soccer warm up, winding up his towel he snaps it at Nick and they start cracking up. _God he just fits so effortlessly into every corner of my life, why would I let something that intrinsic move 400 miles away from me?_ Nope, not doing this, not going there right now.

Bram comes up to me and grabs my waist and swings me around, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

“Go change, there’s no air in here and I am going to melt the longer you make me wait” he says curling the corners of his lips.

I smile at him and grab my bag heading into the bathroom, plopping it down on the counter. I shouldn’t be worried about this it’s such a stupid thing, but I’ve been worried about swimming ever since I got this new swimming suit shopping with Abby a few weeks back. I ripped a hole in my old one rope swinging a few weeks before graduation (we don’t need to go into it, it was this whole thing, thank God tying sweatshirts around your waist is cool again or that would’ve been a horrifying walk home) and Abby twisted my arm into buying this new set of trunks that are… well, short. It’s not that I don’t like them, there’s way less fabric, I feel a lot freer wearing them, but I’ve just been so used to wearing baggy board shorts all my life and I just don’t want people judging me based on how I dress. I hold them in my hands and exhale, putting them on and just letting the safety of the cabin buoy up my confidence.

Walking down to the dock I hear a whistle.

“Ow OW!” Abby hollers, “Damn Simon look at those THIGHS, you’re giving me some serious _From Here to Eternity_ vibes, I cannot handle this!”

I start to blush and hesitate a little coming down the steps to the dock. Leah’s floating on a donut inner tube painted like a literal donut with a bite out of it, and pulls her sunglasses down, she can sense my anxiety I’m sure of it.

“Si I love the shorts, don’t be self conscious” she says pursing her lips towards Abby. “No one’s gonna give you shit for wearing what you want, and the people who are gonna make assumptions about you based on your clothing are garbage to begin with, we don’t have time for that, we never did.”

Leah lifts her sunglasses up and throws her head back catching the sun. “Eisner, bring me another drink, put an umbrella in this one I’m on vacation.”

Nick scoots over to her on this ridiculous inflatable turtle he’s blown up to grab her drink. “As you wish” Nick mocks in a feux British accent.

“You’ve got him better trained than I do Leah!” Abby exclaims, and they exchange smiles over their sunglasses.

“One day I’ll teach you my secrets” Leah says, and she’s back to basking.

Bram comes up to me out of breath, he’s finished blowing up a double inner tube for us to float around in.

“Those shorts are great babe,” He says tugging at the hem and moving his hand up my thigh to my waist. “Don’t overthink it, I’m always gonna think you’re cute even if you turn green and grow horns.” Bram kisses me quick and grabs my hand.

I feel so foolish for ever feeling worried that something as benign as _swim trunks_ could somehow cause my life to implode. Leah of course delivers on this perfectly insightful approach to authenticity and then there’s Bram unwaveringly supportive as ever. This is so stupid, and to think Bram has to walk around everyday worrying about people judging him at baseline because of the color of his skin, let alone being gay and here’s me caught up in my own thoughts about how much thigh I’m showing, _God I can be so dense_.

I smile back at Bram, “Thanks B,” I say grabbing the inner tube. “No one’s ever seen this much of my legs before, well except you I guess.”

“Yeah but this is in the light of day!” Bram laughs. “They’re practically translucent Simon, you need some Vitamin D.”

I smirk and grab his hand as we head down to the lake, Bram grabs us something to drink out of the cooler and I plop down in the inner tube with him to enjoy the sun, feeling the breeze on my face and a few other places, it’s a damn near perfect day.


End file.
